S-T-R-E-S-SSSSSS

Dealing with worry, doubt and stress is exhausting! And oftentimes when it comes to the breaking point, we’re no longer worrying about the initial object, but are worried that we’re worrying so much. Why can’t I stop thinking? It’s the brain on spin-cycle and it just keeps going faster and faster. Stress essentially is the body’s way of positioning to take on a challenge. There is good stress (being excited or knowing you need to prepare for something) and bad stress (working yourself into a frenzy; being incapable of action) — but the main determinate is how we see it and if we’re able to manage it. If the challenge is equal to the level of skill you believe you have, chances are you’re not stressed. If the challenge is high, and you feel that your skills are not up to it; you’re probably likely to feel stressed. [To side step a second, in positive psychology speak, this  topic feeds into the concept of "flow," or the total mental and physical immersion of a person acutely focused on a task at hand. It's marked  by a lack of awareness of time, emotions, and even the sense of  self goes. Here's a cool chart that breaks it down a bit: challenge vs skills.]

Unless you are legitimately suffering from anxiety-related disorders, a majority of what people worry about can be managed and worked through. Objects don’t cause stress; perception of those objects cause stress. Think about a situation in your life where you felt stressed — did you ask yourself what about the situation was creating the problem? Did you notice a pattern thought, or image that instigated the pangs of worry? Stress is related to one’s perception of ability — it’s seeing yourself outside of the current parameters of your comfort zone. Stress in my case is usually about anticipating a future change– I attach meaning to nearly everything in my life and when the meanings (or my comfort zone with them) start to change I get anxious. How am I going to manage that? What will I do? In reality, I’m very adaptable to new situations; but it’s the anticipated build up to that change which creates the stress. Like a manual car, shifting gears is bumpy. It’s something I continuously and consciously work on because  fearing change is a limiting factor. And we all know the old adage “The only constant is change.”

The remedy? Respect, be aware, try to understand and talk about WHY you’re feeling this way — and push through anyway. Generally, people are extremely averse  to showing vulnerability.  Being open about this type of universally felt emotion isn’t really practiced; rather, it’s bottled up, swept away or dealt with the phrase: It’s not really that big an issue; I’m OK. Trust me: ignoring it will only make it more toxic, and it’ll bubble up in ways that will confuse and frustrate you AND the people who have to deal with you. Being brave doesn’t mean you’re fearless — it means you progress onward, despite the fear. Another incredible source of calm and rejuvenation for me is telling myself “it’s OK to feel this way right now.” Giving something a name and recognizing it has a tremendous influence on overcoming it. For a more scientific exploration of stress and its impact on the quality of our lives, check out this National Geographic piece that aired on PBS called “Killer Stress.” Stress does more than just impair our ability to think; it impairs a body’s ability to be healthy.

This is a poem by my favorite, Rumi, that has helped put stress into a beneficial and transformative light:

A Song of Being Empty

A certain sufi tore his robe in grief,
and the tearing brought such relief,

he gave the robe the name faraji,which means “ripped open”, or “happiness,”
or “one who brings the joy of being opened.”

It comes from the stem faraj, which also
refers to the genitals, male and female.

His teacher understood the purity
of the action, while others
just saw the ragged appearance.

If you want peace and purity,
tear away your coverings.

This is the purpose of emotion, to let
a streaming beauty flow through you.

Call it spirit, elixir, or the original
agreement between yourself and God.

Opening into that gives peace,
a song of being empty,
pure silence.

So, the next time you find yourself feeling pangs of anxiety, worry or doubt — follow the steps: 1. allow yourself to feel it; 2. forgive yourself for feeling it; 3. thank yourself for being aware of it; 4. take responsibility for ways to manage it. We’ll NEVER be rid of stress – we need it. We can learn techniques to manage it and use it to help us out — the quality of our lives depend upon it.

Take care,
~Rachel

 

A Rememberance to Senator Edward M. Kennedy

The day I learned about his death, I wrote this short personal essay about my experience working for Sen. Kennedy. I have shared it with my friends, family and the Kennedy family. I wanted to post it here, because until his death, I never fully realized how meaningful and inspirational working for him was. This seems to always be the case; paying tribute and respect to someone after they are gone. I will try to pay more real-time gratitude to those who have shaped and influenced my life.

I too, knew Ted Kennedy

In the coming days, so many of us will undoubtedly share stories about how Senator Kennedy touched our lives; either directly through a personal encounter, or through the multitude of his public policy efforts that dramatically impacted the quality of not only Massachusetts residents, but citizens across our nation. Many of you may know that I had the incredible opportunity to work as an intern for Senator Kennedy during college. While we will hear of the magnitude of accomplishments through his life of public service, I would like to share with you the less glamorous side of the daily efforts that took place within his Boston office. The staff carried his vision and dreams on their shoulders, thus enabling the thoughts and concerns of the Senator to be directly delivered to those who mattered to him most: the citizens.

My interview casually took place in Senator Kennedy’s own office, atop the JFK Federal Building which overlooks downtown Boston and the shimmering harbor beyond. Needless to say, it was intimidating to try and convey that I was a hardworking, spirited and accomplished student amidst a collage of photos of Senator Kennedy with his brothers, or the Senator standing beside every U.S. president since JFK, or simply, the Senator playing in front of his beloved Cape Cod home with his family. Surreal as it was, the energy within the office was invigorating and welcoming as if to say, “You too can serve.”

His office was not what you would except from a member of American royalty; it was simple, traditional, painted a lovely light blue and carried an ambiance of diligent, yet heartfelt work. Piles of papers adorned each desk – desks which could tell decade’s old story’s themselves. And those endless piles of papers were letters from constituents; the Massachusetts residents who were seeking Senator Kennedy’s help on such a wide variety of public and personal issues. I worked in the immigration department handling cases of pending visas, citizenship and general issues surrounding travel. The workload was heavy, as thousands of open cases resided in metal filing drawers that overflowed with personal stories of why people would like to travel to or become a citizen of the United States. As the daughter of an Irish immigrant, this cause had a very special place in my heart. Each person desperately wanted to stand on U.S. soil, and in seeking this dream, asked Senator Kennedy for help. No plea was ever left un-responded to or un-acted upon. People from all walks of life, all nations of the world, all ages, religious affiliations, income or education levels were greeted with a smile and offered an ear. Listening was an art form within his office and once the listening was done, the real work began.

I was 19 when I started working there and each time I entered the office over the course of one year, felt an energized sense than I was partaking in an American institution and doing the good work. While there were numerous cases of heart-ache over families denied citizenship, each person was eternally grateful that Senator Kennedy’s office tried to help. The simple act of listening, being heard and being validated by a champion of the people gave solace to those whose dreams were temporarily or eventually denied. And to those whose dreams were fulfilled, gratitude poured from them, even years later, as cards and tokens of thanks were saved as a reminder that the good work prevails. In Senator Kennedy’s office I learned that no policy issue goes unaffected – that every decision made by leaders will touch someone directly. It was my honor to help constituents, and in times of pain, comfort them by reassuring that the Senator will echo and fight for their unheard voice.

Glamorous the office was not; noble and sincere it was. My greatest memories while working there were not of meeting the Senator, shaking his hand, having lunches together, talking policy with staff, writing letters on his behalf to hundreds of agencies and people, or standing in photographs with smiling prestigious faces. My mind goes to the images of serving as an ear to those who needed help and this will be the enduring mass-memory of our beloved Lion through the ages, to be reverberated in history books. I am blessed to have served in this capacity, to work under his iconic name, to have been humbled by the gratitude of thousands, and to have had the opportunity to live the American dream of serving this great nation. Senator Kennedy, I cannot thank you enough for offering a hand of help and ear of compassion, and allowing me to represent you to your public. It will be my responsibility and honor to continue the tradition of listening, helping and offering comfort, just as you made it your life’s work to do so.

 

Article on Salon.com “How do I become an adult?”

This is a recent article on Salon.com titled “How do I become an adult?” A question I ask myself often.  Please follow the link to the article, and below, I included my response that I submitted to Salon.com. Please share your thoughts on this extremely personal, yet widely felt, topic.

[response to article]

I recently asked myself the same question

My response to this is: there is no response to this, because it’s all to human and we often forget we are simply that. I’m 25, recently went through the pangs of   unemployment, fretting myself over billsand rent and that looming sense of “what do I do now??” — while my previous, collegiate life was shimmer gold like no-other, filled with accolade, work, friends and all the things to distract me from my real self. You didn’t say what your passion was- so I’m assuming you’re embarrassed to say it. Like me, I often suffer from that strange symptom too — afraid to share with the universe what I love; fearing that the universe won’t love me back.

That yearning, calling, desire to flourish, desire to reach your potential is what I call the “souls lubricant.” But without motion, no action occurs. You said you read all these self-help books. Practice them, but create your own manual just for you. Something is lacking in the way we are taught: all learning, no practice. And I have the most difficulty with this too. Practice what our positive psychology book suggest. The interventions help. There’s no goal to them; they are a self-reflective journey. Until we start seeing ourselves as experts on ourselves, we’ll constantly look elsewhere in hopes to find the balm we need, when really, it’s already hidden in our own way of thinking. The world, yourself, your parents, your TV will always have a list of “see, this is what you need to do.” It breaks my heart to know our age group feels this way; but I believe it’s necessary because on the other side of this grief is it’s counterpart: relief. You just have to believe going through this is worth it.

Take care,

Rachel

 

Welcome to UNDERCURRENT

This is my first post, so thank you for viewing. For a while now, I’ve wanted to create a blog to share my thoughts through writing– mainly because I can not longer ignore the gnawing voice (and now other people’s!) telling me to just do it already!.. and I want to share a process which has been one of the most fundamental exercises contributing to my personal growth. It’s fascinating and therapeutic to explore ones-self through writing and years on, to look back and see your progression into the person you are now. “The unexamined life is not worth living” might be the legacy of Aristotle, but I’ve got to give props to the 18^th century philosopher, David Hume, who coined the concept “human bundling” – citing that no person is essentially the same as they were years ago, nor can be defined simply by one trait, but rather, becomes a composite of ideas and experiences they’ve picked up along the way.  That’s a beautiful sentiment that allows a person to be at peace with where they’ve been and hopeful of where they are going. It’s been my personal mission for the past few years to pay attention and pay gratitude to my own bundling, and now, I hope to help others pay attention to their own.

YOU ->” So Rach, what’s this blog all about?”

There are two main reasons for writing this blog:

1. Share my experience and ideas regarding personal growth and development; and encourage others to pay greater attention to their own.
This effort is largely aimed at my age group, but by no means is exclusive.

2. Use this blog as a  home-base for my own small consulting business (aptly called UnderCurrent).
More information on the biz side below and to come!

YOU ->” So, why this? Why now?”

It’s my passion to help light a spark within people and provide resources and thought-provoking information that enables a person to think more critically of themselves and the world around them.  I didn’t realize just how valuable this process was until I was faced with one of the most difficult situations in my life: being laid off. Like so many American’s, I too was affected by the recession.  My loved one, friends, peers and organizations — all deeply affected. With such a monumental event occurring in real-time, it was overwhelming to try and get a grip on myself and how to move forward. I credit my previous homework done in personal management to easing some of the confusion, but WOW, was it tested and WOW, did I have a lot of work to do.  So, after the shock, sulking, anger and down-right lost-ness started to fade, I took it as an opportunity to get back to my roots — to the ideas, passions and talents that I cherished, but had moved into the background during the previous years.

I have an extensive background in the development of civic organizations, spanning across non-profits, political and local government. I have always believed that participation in community organizations contributes to a noble, larger purpose and serves as a pillar of American society. While I have been an advocate for community participation, I also strongly encourage personal growth and awareness. Through my exploration of this, I have discovered a new avenue to help ignite a deeper level of personal and civic development: the burgeoning field of positive psychology. Positive psychology is the scientific study of human strengths and virtues that enable people, communities and organizations to thrive. It focuses upon what is right with people, how to nurture and develop innate strengths and how to increase over all well-being and greater control in life satisfaction.  Not only can it do wonders on the individual level, it has the power to transform organizations by adding a whole new dimension of quality and engagement for people and communities being served. “UNDERCURRENT” is the term for my personal philosophy on life, and means honing in on what our strengths and loves are and allowing them to guide our actions, how we view the world and our place in it. It’s the fabric that weaves our thoughts, interactions and connections to  ourselves, others and the world. Just think for a moment, if people are feeling encouraged and proud of what value and strengths they possess AND are able to put  it to good use, how would that impact the quality of that individual’s life? Their relationships? Their work? Their community? Through UNDERCURRENT, it’s my goal to bring these two passions of mine (civic engagement and positive psychology) to the larger public.

Lofty goal! But goals should be big and overwhelming because in them, one finds meaning and purpose. I tend to stand for processes and journeys rather than destinations. It might be difficult to see on surface, but taking personal accountability for how your life is and where it is going is actually more in your control than you may think. Control in this sense is not domination, it is stability and first and foremost, it starts within yourself. If you’re looking for the quick, simple and easy way to sort life out, stop reading this now — you wont find it here (or anywhere.)  Like I said, I stand for processes and journeys and UNDERCURRENT is another path to travel upon. It is my hope and honor that others will be inspired to join me.

As always, take care.

–Rachel